I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
