You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
