I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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