I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
