so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
