in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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