You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Randomize
