you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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