What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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