I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
