another moral hangover. fuck.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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