My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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