i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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