you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
