i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
