His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
