i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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