On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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