I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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