He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
A bitchslap is in order.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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