a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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