So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Randomize
