He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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