ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
