no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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