Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
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