Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
