Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You need a sexual gate keeper
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
