Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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