so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
