You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize