I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize