Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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