I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Randomize
