Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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