I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
