I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
P.S. I can't hear my feet
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
