This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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