Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
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