Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize