My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
