Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
