Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
i drank out of a bidet.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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