My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
