I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
You did what with his pubic hair?
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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