Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
