Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
