Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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