Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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