Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
