It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
