considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
if i died would you start the facebook group?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
