I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize