meet me or not, i'm out of control
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Randomize
