im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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