I could make wine with my vomit
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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