Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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