i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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