dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
