It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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