Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
