I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize
