Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
