honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
