Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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