Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
