Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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