i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
