i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
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