walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
