your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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