Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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