my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize