Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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