if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
It's shark week go big or go home
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize