hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
