god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
