Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
