I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize
