My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
