Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
