she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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