Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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