I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
