4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Randomize
