I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Randomize
